How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
