I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
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