Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize