I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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