It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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