Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
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