i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
