wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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