Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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