i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
