just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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