you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
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