Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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