I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
