I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
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