Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
