Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
