OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
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