break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
