You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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