just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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