Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
