Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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