we're blogging at a bar
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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