Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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