No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
