i think my mom watched the whole time
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
