1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
