His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
