Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
