she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize