his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
