Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
