I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
