You really coming over, don't trick.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
