I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Terrible idea I love it
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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