Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
