I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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