Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
