do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
