wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Randomize