Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
