Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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