I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Randomize
