so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
