We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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