she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
