No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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