we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
porn star boner night. come get it.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
