We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
