he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
