well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
