I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
