I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
