Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Randomize
