I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
