So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
