foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
