I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
