so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
