I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
