I don't usually arrange sex via text message
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
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