these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Randomize
