My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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