Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize