she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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