My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
