Is it normal to miss your booty call?
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
