your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
This is classic penis vs brain.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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