I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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