Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
