Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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