just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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