She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
