I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
