she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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