Tell her she can't have a vagina
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize