come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
