FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
