im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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