Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
