Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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